Chapter Summaries

Question 1 Summary:

* Remember your goal at this point is to determine “what’s really going on?”

* Look at your family member as an individual with unique value to the people who care about them. Evaluate their “ages:” Chronological, Physical, Cognitive, and Psychological.

* Check out their Environment, State of Mind, Physical Abilities / Conditions and Mental Abilities / Conditions.

* If necessary, establish a “baseline” for the future.

* Start Observing, Asking questions, and Researching resources.

* Be prepared! Be patient!

Question 2 Summary:

* Look at all the different groups that can provide possible caregivers for the senior: Immediate Family, Blended Family, Extended Family, and “Like” Family.

* Take the senior’s feelings, priorities, and beliefs into the equation. Help them sort thru some of the uncertainty.

* Determine Proximity, Expertise, and Tangibles: Physical distance, emotional closeness, professional skills and credentials, background and abilities, time, money, work and family obligations.

* Realistically, assess what value each potential caregiver can offer. Ascertain any anticipated gaps in resources that can be located or added thru other means.

* Decide what you can do to start bringing these resources together for a positive outcome.

Question 3 Summary

* Do your due diligence. Actively research resources in your local community, state and federal organizations.

* Find senior knowledgeable professionals who value relationships.

* Give “recommendations,” not orders.

* Aim to reach consensus with all the decision makers.

* Know what your options are BEFORE a crisis hits.

Question 4 Summary

* Always try to keep things in perspective. What seems essential today may be trivial tomorrow.

* Work to Balance today’s needs with tomorrow’s necessities.

* Learn to Anticipate changing concerns.

* Work as a team to Negotiate solutions, whether they are short-term, interim, or long-term.

* Decide – don’t put off making choices out of fear. Understand that it is better to explore options while everyone feels more in control.

* Being in a crisis can only exacerbate the stresses and uncertainty of “did we do the right thing?”

Question 5 Summary

* Be informed and understand what to expect.

* If at all possible, don’t try to go it alone:
o Allow the senior to be involved
o Talk to family and friends
o Check out local resources

* We are all getting older and will have to deal with our own aging and the aging of loved ones.

* You can’t change the past, you can’t predict the future: Forgive, Accept, Release.

* It’s never too early, it’s never too late…PREPARE, PREPARE, PREPARE!

* Know that YOU still have a life with dreams and plans for the future. Hold on to that and make those dreams happen!